Meet the Mypen’s 2026 SDCR 51
Meet the Mypen’s [2026] SDCR 51
| Date of judgment | 25th Month 2026 |
| Judge(s) |
|
| Held | “Mypenjustbroke” is a scourge sent by God. |
| Ruling | 3-0 |
| Applicable precedent |
|
MAJORITY OPINION by Judge Tech Support
(With Chief Judge Matt Cheney and Judge Thyme agreeing)
Introduction
[1] Who is Mypenjustbroke? According to famed scientist and noted explosives enthusiast Ted Kaczynski, Mypen is “worse than Hitler”.
Destruction
[2] In 2001, the worst thing to hit the United States was the first idea of “Mypenjustbroke”, the idea of the amalgamation of chuds, satan’s greatest soldier, if Mypenjustbroke was a character from the KD files, he would be Jabari Smith Jnr.
[3] Mypenjustbroke lists his pure waffle about EO 139-16, his own EO, as he has developed chronic SimDementia, just like Dr Harold Shipman, he has little regard for old people. EO 139-16 created the greatest role in SimDemocracy history, the Greggs Steak Bake, a role held by the purest and most devoted souls on SimDemocracy, Mypen by comparison, is a tainted soul, a prime example of the “Prostitution of Justice” who has sold himself to squeeze in one more pointless Latin word to his incomprehensible verdicts.
- [3.1] On September 10th 2025, Mypen was spotted on the rooftops of a university in Utah. Drinking from the bottle and rambling about “Trump 2028”, Mypen decided he had one course in life, to be what is known as in the hood, a “Jobless Motherfucka”.
- [3.2] Mypen of course, is noted as the worst President in the history of SimDemocracy, when Asa looks like Abraham Lincoln compared to you, you know it’s bad. Mypen of course was a pushover, like his idol Donald Trump, he was always in the pocket of someone else, instead of Israel, it was a 14 year old girl. His government was destroyed by a small child, and her imaginary Brazilian friend. He has the noted distinction of being the man to make Ppatpat quit SimDemocracy for the first time, when even Aerie couldn’t accomplish that feat.
[4] Mypen is noted to be like “Brooklyn Nets Kevin Garnett”, if I had Mypen as a member of my franchise, I would: cry, keel over and die or run away, presuming whichever is quickest.
[5] Mypenjustbroke was shocked to discover that the hit Kendrick Lamar song “Not Like Us” was about famed mumble rapper Drake instead of himself. For the rest of us, a prison sentence is being forced to read one of his verdicts. Mumbling with little effect, he leaves the lasting impression of a resurgent Robert F. Kennedy Jnr. If Mypen was a noted MAGA influencer, he’d be Tom Macdonald.
[6] When interviewing noted war criminal and former Prime Minister of Japan Hideki Tojo, it is rumoured that he expressed dismay that “Mypenjustbroke” was writing another CoR opinion, he followed this up by saying “not even we would force that upon the west”. Mypen may well have been the guard on the night that Hermann Goering gained possession of a cyanide capsule, his vision so impervious he makes Stevie Wonder look like a Hide and Seek champion.
[7] Mypen’s favourite governor of a state in America was Brigham Young.
[8] When asked what the greatest threat to American national security was, 20% of the population answered “Kyle Kuzma”, the rest responded with “that chud from the CoR who writes with Latin phrases and looks like he sniffs bike seats”.
[9] Of course, not all is bad about Mypen, he is noted as a sincere contributor to several charities. Fun fact, after his passing, it came out that former British TV personality Jimmy Saville was a large contributor to several charities across the UK.
[10] If Mypen was a teletubby, he’d be Tinky Winky.
[11] Sources in Dallas confirmed that “Mypenjustbroke” was a major sanctioner of the Luka Doncic trade. Of course, anybody who’s read his SimDem judicial opinions would’ve inferred this already.
Verdict
[12] Mypenjustbroke, like your Great Nan as she tumbles down the stairs for the sixth time in a month, has fallen off, a once promising lawyer, is now a victim of hubris. Mypen is now a story told to children to get them to sleep at night, as they don’t want the Mypen whispering Latin to them at 3am.
[14] EO 139-16 is affirmed in its entirety.
Dicta
[15] Don’t do procedural things to back up the court.
[16] Don’t waste my time.